If you give a girl some homework,
She’ll want to brainstorm some suggestions to begin work on it.
You’ll text her some of your favorite ideas.
She’ll probably get all giddy and inspired,
So she’ll want to jump online to research.
She’ll ask you to do a Google Hangout to chat about it.
When you give her the go-ahead,
She’ll probably ask you to wear a virtual crown and accessories.
You’ll have to find the best on-screen shades.
The shades will remind her of the cute barista where she was studying yesterday.
She might feel distracted and want to visit her favorite coffee shop again.
She’ll want you to come too.
She’ll look through her closet for a cute book bag,
Then she’ll look under her bed for her car phone charger.
When she’s under her bed,
She’ll find her old F*ck me strappy sandals.
She’ll try them on with the barista in mind.
She’ll probably need something special to wear with them.
When she’s all dressed she’ll hunt for her headphones.
She’ll play her very best divalicious playlist.
And she’ll start dancing.
Then she’ll want to, and want you to, take some selfies.
So you’ll both have to post them on Instagram #Procrastination.
When she sees and likes the pictures online,
She’ll ask you to take more.
Then she’ll want to send out copies by emailing each of her friends.
You’ll have to get her to close some windows and pop-ups to free up memory,
And get her to empty her spam folder.
On the way, she’ll see her blog stats in her back row.
She’ll want to build a blog post about barista boy.
She’ll want to add pictures to it.
She’ll look for new wall paper and google his pictures.
When she is on google.com,
She’ll see the online history.
Seeing the history will remind her
Of your favorite brainstormed ideas.
She’ll probably ask you to narrow them down.
And chances are, if she asks you for some ideas,
She’ll want to finally finish her homework in time.
Adapted from “If You Give a Pig a Pancake” by Laura Numeroff.
Laura is the author of one of our favorite series of books!