I love playing with words. This week, words played me and got the best of me.
I received some initial feedback on a “project presentation” that I invested a lot of hope, time, passion, prayers and energy into. I felt so grateful to hear back yet, at the same time, I delicately danced around the carefully crafted word jumble dropped at my feet. My brain projected the narrowest and grandest vision for what they stood for but refused to believe any of it knowing that the unspoken words carried equal weight. I did not know which of the answers to carry with me.
Before I realized what was happening, hope flooded my chest, quickly drained and pooled everywhere else in my body. The redistribution of weight flattened any spring in my step. I feared the power of speaking about this project anticipating that the universe’s charge would reverse and rip this new project from my hands.
One day I walked so far away from a direct route to get lunch so I didn’t pass the building that holds those involved with this new project for fear that words would betray me without proper context. I did not want to appear Awkward by asking something that I know they cannot answer yet. Turns out, the universe put me right in the direct path despite my detour and I found myself face-to-face with a group member.
Now, being surprised and starving (after inadvertently intermittently fasting for the last 18 hours) I don’t remember what I said, but for a moment a clear message got through: Imposter Syndrome! Now usually my coworker and I joke about having this several times a week when any new challenge walks into our office but this episode was a full -blown case!
Thankfully I recall a 60-second talk on this from one of our dynamo professors Dr. Angélica Gutiérrez. Until I study her articles and take her full seminar on this, it was enough to help me start down the road to confronting it and getting rid of it.
As for the project. When I find the right words, you’ll be the first to know!
What about you?
Have you ever experienced Imposter Syndrome?
What did you do to get around it?
How do you calm your anxiety or nerves when facing a challenge?
#ImposterSyndrome #Anxiety #Challenge #BePresent #BeMindful #MindfulMidlife #Blogtober #MakesMeWander