Many of my friends met amazing dates or awesome future-spouses online. Utilizing computers’ brains to define one’s heart presented uber-compatible matches. While I remained cautious about starting relationships for my kids’ (and briefly, my own) sanity, I wanted to make sense of the “playing field” at this stage of my life. I didn’t put the weight of marriage on each first date, but kept the big picture in mind. My girlfriends and I narrowed the pool down to four general guy groups. These didn’t reflect anyone we know, but this grouping made the most sense to us.
1) The eternal bachelor – ‘Til you come along! Suddenly you, the woman he’s waited for, glided towards him with your intoxicatingly golden aura, stole his breath and hooked him. PRO: You two could define “marriage” together with no habits to break. CON: Being a person who either lived by the seat of his pants, or lived with uninterrupted routines for years – would a romantic partner fit in?
2) The serial groom – Kept marrying the wrong girl while searching the world to find you! PRO: He loved marriage, settling down with and exploring life together as a couple. CON: Could be easily distracted or impatient. QUESTION: What magic number would change the number of marriages from “No worries” to “No Way!”?
3) The career dude – Neither of the above, he put career before women to provide a stable foundation for any relationship. PRO: He prioritized well and thrived with increasing pressure and responsibility. CON: Could he switch gears to find more balance, not just all work all the time?
4) The Ross – “We were on a break!” Enough said, drama!
Once the men, passed the first round of consideration, one’s history qualified them further – especially for us single moms. When I joke to my friend that it’s uncomfortable to bring up background checks over cocktails, she laughs – working at the police station, she’s pulled that information after the first phone call.
Realizing that this kills the spontaneity and romance, perhaps speed dating would silence the “What Ifs’”. You could find the man of your dreams, or (as I’ve said before) worse comes to worst, a new business contact!