My divorce happened before the Conscious Uncoupling trend. While it didn’t fall under the category of most congenial divorces, it certainly didn’t qualify as one of the worst. Ridiculous Redirection better described my conscious dissolution – detailing my disdain for the situation, the people involved and my attempts to maintain a sense of humor and forge a fresh, clear perspective for making life-changing decisions. This, immediately after losing my mind and being steamrolled by emotions beyond the range of what I’d previously considered possible on the Richter scale.
Initially, my tribe of devoted supporters rallied, listened, commiserated, reveled in the ridiculous along with me. Though they provided a much-needed crutch I leaned on often while learning to stand again, it suddenly dawned on me that I’d mounted the carousel horse to crazy town. So I leaped for the brass ring while the carousel groaned on. I bruised my heart a bit more but felt immediately lighter with ridiculousness in pieces at my feet. I ran to catch up to my kids’ and my new life, that already held a strong head-start.
When I stopped to catch my breath I immediately felt that I needed to slow down and be present to properly navigate the future and remember the high-fives along the way.
Does rehashing Sentimental steps of my ridiculous redirection mean I’m stuck in a bitter dead end without a clear path towards my future? I feel that I finally received the streetmap (OK, GPS) showing me I got through Despair, to the border of Desperation, constantly weaving in and out of Unsettled, and that confirms I am passing through Hope finally on the road towards Inner Peace which still just barely seems visible in a distant horizon (Looks like Oz!)
To me, simmering in the sentiment is necessary on occasion to remind me of growth, evolution, resilience, adaptation, and invention. I now realize that my resentment came more from the unexpected, though maybe not completely unforeseen, changes to my 25-year plan than the things my wasband (was-my-husband) and I did before, during and after that point.
We three continue forward now watching Ridiculous transition into Reality – a reality that we are present for every day.